Weekend Love

via The Beautiful Struggler - Me, Myself and Eye

REMINDER: Come drank with me this week!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009
6:00pm - 9:00pm
Taj Lounge
48 W 21st St, New York, NY
To RSVP, drop me a line: sistertoldja@thebeautifulstruggler.com

It's spring and I got the fever. Fever in the morning, fever in the evening, fever at suppertime. I'm in heat, I quit my birth control (you don't have to have it when you ALWAYS USE CONDOMS....MESSAGE*) so my lady hormones are out of wack yet again, I think I have restless leg syndrome again, people on the bus is wearing too much cologne and not enough deodorant. Speaking of buses, I miss the B(route number redacted) every day and when it does come, it's Gilligans Island status: "a 3 hour tour, a 3 hour tourrrrr" just to get across Bed Stuy to Fort Greene. And yes, I DID already tell that joke on Twitter. The spring fever is making me delirious!

I'm ready for sundresses and dashikis and mojitos and jumping headfirst in a watermelon and eating that summmabitch from the wine to the rind. I want free concerts and new boys and outdoor dining and sunshine and the beach (for the first time in 12 years!). And I want sangria. It's really all about the booze for me, ain't it?

Why was there a child out at a popular Brooklyn outdoor restaurant and bar on Friday night? Sitting by himself wearing an iPod at 11pm? I kept smiling at him and waving, and he refused to respond. Given that I was a few drinks in, I blurt out "WHY WON'T YOU SMILE BACK AT ME?" I was mad! Kids love me! Sister Toldja is for the children, dammit. I won't drag out the story, but he ended up holding up a clinched fist at us, running off in near tears and telling Sir Fabulous that he wanted to punch us all for calling him stupid (which we didn't). Oh, and he said that he didn't speak good English, he spoke "Trinidad and Tobago" and that's why he didn't respond to me verbally.

Speaking of the children....Lord....so the next day, SFH and I went to the mall. He had a mysterious hip ailment and decided to use one of the store's wheelchairs. Do not judge us, we all fall short of the glory. The store security guard was bored and hyped SFH up to do it. We learned that these contraptions are hard to use when he crashed in to an endcap. Sir Fab felt guilty and wanted to bring the chair back. I felt that would have been worse for people to see him hop up and walk away, so he should have committed to the role and stayed in. These two Biv 10 Pee Wee All-Stars rejects come up and start bombarding him with accusations:

Maybe we are not for the children after all. As a matter of fact, as soon as we Heathen Child 1: Excuse me, are you really....you know?
Sir Fabulous: Really injured or handicapped?
Heathen Child 1: Yeah, that.
Sir Fab: I hurt myself.
Heathen Child 2: YOU LYING!
SFH: Excuse me?
HC1: You don't need that chair, you using it for fun.
SFH: Where are your owners?
HC2: Ok, prove it. Stand up!
Sister Toldja: But...that's the whole point, he can't stand up.
HC2: YOU ARE USING THAT CHAIR FOR FUN AND I'M FINNA GO GET ONE AND DO THE SAME THING!walked/rolled away, a little boy fell off the side of his mom's cart and I literally had to run to the bathroom so as not to pee on myself with laughter.

I made a cameo at the infamous DJ Spinna/Bobbito Garcia "Wonderful" party. We straight walked in there with no tickets. It was the largest party ever in life, ever. Saw the homie Sister (Ouch, I don't remember your moniker because you don't make time for me, Miss Honay!), which was great. And I have to give a shout out to the reader who I met there. I believe her name is Heather...hey girl! If any of you all ever think you see me in the street, please say hello! It makes my day!

This weekend, Holly Go Hard made her fateful return. For those of you who are newer to the blog, HGH (tee hee) was my party girl alter-ego. Sadly, it seemed like she died when I moved to New York City. Irony.com/whatthehell. I was telling a friend last night that I will deeply regret living in NY in my 20's and not partying my arse off. So now I shall. I partied from Thursday night to Sunday night. Holly's back.

But, is NY ready?
Chicago Toldja

*-Nothing wrong with two levels of protection! I just can't deal with the getting fat and hormonal changes part anymore.

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