Bubblin' Brown Sugar/Sir Fabulous Explains It All!

via The Beautiful Struggler - Me, Myself and Eye

Have you ever just felt full with potential? Brimming over with possibilities? Like a little teapot that's finna shout "tip me over and pour me out"? Well, that's me right now, folks. Now as soon as I can harness this energy, then maybe I can do something with it. I have about five projects and ideas just taking over my life space right now and I know I have the talent to make them happen. Now alls I gotta do is figure out how to balance this with the ~~unfortunate~~ work life I already have, in order to keep eating and having doctor visits in the meantime.

Good news! My apartment woes are ending soon. Though my bum ass roommate Al is being evicted by the city Marshall tomorrow (let's see how he weasels out of that one), I have found a new place to live and I am out on July 1st! I'm so excited! It's closer to my peeps and on a quieter block.

The timing is perfect, because the very night I had looked at the spot, I had an issue with a local scallywag. I was in the bodega making a purchase, when two loud-ass women come in: a short, ugly light-skinned one and a tall, very pretty dark-skinned girl. The little one is talking to some dudes and says "Look, I'm LIGHT SKIN. I'm not one of these big, ugly dark-skinned bitches, I'm LIGHT SKIN!" You would think her friend would be offended but she chimes in "And I am caramel".

Now, caramel is one of the most confusing and misused descriptors of Negroid complexion. Partially due to the variation in the color of caramel:

However, she was more like chocolate. While her friend extolled the virtues of her pale skin (she looked like a dirty yellow dishrag), "Caramel" argued with one of the guys who said he liked White women. She's getting really mad, but I had to stifle a laugh when he said "Well, the White girls I date don't cause scenes like this". Meanwhile, one of the dudes is getting offended by the light-skinned bird talking about how she was "light", implying some sort of superiority. He was like "Well, I'm dark skinned, so what are you saying?" She wasn't really saying shit, but sensing her losing battle, she decided to find a new target for her derision.

Disrag: "Well, I'm not one of these BOUGIE BITCHES running around here with they nose in the air, 'cause they forgot where they came from! One of these BOUGIE BITCHES running around like they was born with a silver spoon in they mouth."

If you hadn't guessed, she was talking about me. Now, I have never seen this woman in my life, but that could be due to the fact that she's short and my nose is to far up in the air to see her. On some real shit, I get along good with everyone around my way. The block dudes don't show me as much love after finally realizing that I was never going to hook up with none of them (plus, I told one of them not to call me "Pretty Legs" anymore. How dare I demand ownership of my body?), but no one can say I walk around with an attitude. I may dress different and speak different than her set, but so? I'm extremely down to earth. And as far as where I came from...she don't know where I came from! She never saw me before 2007 at the earliest! And I definitely reflect where I came from.

She repeated herself about five times, while I just acted like she was invisible. But her final "insult" is what really got me:

Disrag: "These BOUGIE BITCHES who forgot where they came from make me sick! All stuck up and shit. That is not what Barack Obama is about!"

Um. What? So you pick the most famous symbol of Black middle class tastes and attitudes to call me out for being bougie? I am so confused. The irony is that I'm from the same neighborhood as Obama. And I didn't forget where I came from one bit. Which is why I was able to ignore her and not get dragged in to the fight she was baiting. Well that, and the fact that I was alone, she had her goons and ugly women go straight to the face scratching in a fight.

I wonder if she took my rejection (which was never outright, always under the guise of "I have a boyfriend") of her male friends personally. If I think I'm "too good" for the men she rolls with, am I saying I'm better than her? Or maybe she wanted to get with the one dude who always flirts with me. Either way, she can have her corner of the world back. I love Bed Stuy, but I stay one one of the worst blocks(natives love telling me this) and it's time to roll to the better side of the 'hood.

If you haven't noticed, there is a new blurb on the right hand navigation advertising my availability for speaking engagements. I can be booked for college/community forums, panel discussions, etc. If you'd like, I can also come to your family reunion and pretend to be a long lost cousin a la Tupac in Poetic Justice ("You don't remember me? Lil' Lucky!"). You can have whatever you like, hey.

Sir Fabulous and I have decided that what the world needs now is a little of his love, sweet love. So I am asking readers of TBS to suggest questions that will be answered on the site by the Fabulous one himself. Despite his role in our legendary shenanigans, SFH is one of the most intelligent folks on the planet and he gives amazing advice. Send questions to SFH@thebeautifulstruggler.com and he will guide you well! Have those in by Friday night so we can get you the help you need ASAP. No topic is out of bounds!

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