For Now, I Want New Year's Every Eve...

via The Beautiful Struggler - Me, Myself and Eye

My life at this moment: soaking my feet whilst I listen to Al B. Sure!, eat a generic Fudgescicle (those of y'all who remember Brooklyn Fudgescicle Famine 2008 know how precious this moment is) and try to angle myself just so that I get a good burst of cool air from my window unit, yet not so much that I get sick. I'm looking at a stack of The Knot and Modern Bride mags (yes, I am a Modern Bride subscriber, sans wedding date, sans fiancee, sans boyfriend. DO.NOT.JUDGE.ME.)on the floor and trying to figure out when I'm gonna have time to really work on my wedding book. You know, the scrapbook that all the single ladies, all the single ladies have with pictures of dream engagement rings, magical dresses and inspiring theme colors.

What do you mean no one else has one? It's supposed to go in your hope chest! I know you not finna tell me y'all other broads aint got no hope chest!

Ok, I don't have a hope chest. But I have a lot of hope inside my chest, er, heart. So that counts. Anyway, I was thinking about my Modern Brides and my wedding fascination today after a conversation with my dear friend Sister Doctor. She was talking about the anti-feminist implications of the notion that women should aspire to marriage and motherhood and that one's ability or failure to obtain those things should be a measure of her success. I definitely agree that it is sexist to judge a woman that way, especially given that men are not similarly critiqued and while they may be viewed as odd for not settling down by a certain age, they are rarely deemed `failures' if they don't.

However, as I have said in the past, I would judge my personal successes at the close of my life with attention to whether I have found a mate and had a healthy, happy family. Why? Because that's what I want out of life, more than most anything else. It's not woman's work, it's Toldja's work. It's what appeals to me and what represents success most in my eyes: the creation and sustenance of a family and new life.

HOWEVER, this is one of my favorite songs ever:

Shame on whomever chose this picture for a record cover, btw.

Yep, this was all a ploy of sorts to get back to the whole 'Sister Toldja is the Jazz Messenger' thing I declared sometime ago. What's wrong with y'all? No one hit me up to remind me it had been a while since I last blessed y'all. Come on, boss up and get this culture kinfolk! I'm pretty sure I've mentioned my undying love for Nina Simone on more than a few occasions, but I really can't get tired of speaking her praises. Honestly, it's not fair to limit her to the title of Jazz musician, as her musical scope included Folk, Soul, Gospel, R&B, etc. However, she contributed enough to the Jazz genre that a thorough discussion of the music would have to include her. And she's awesome, there's never a bad time for Nina.

But I have to disagree with this little ditty. Marriage isn't for old folks or cold folks. It's for me, provided I can find someone who can:

Sir Fab and I argue the virtues of marriage all the time. He believes it's an archaic institution that rarely works in the modern world and that people are no longer designed to stay with one person forever, if we ever were in the first place. I say, I think marriage and family building is important to the Black community's survival and the survival of America in general...HOWEVER, as long as me, Mr. Toldja, little Thelonious and baby Miles can go to brunch wearing color-coordinated outfits, then all is well in the world. Y'all can be alone if you want to, knock yourselves out. I have babies to birth. In time, that is.

What say y'all? Is marriage a thing of the past, a personal choice or the end all be all?

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