Eye To Eye

via The Beautiful Struggler - Me, Myself and Eye

*The spirit and the title of this post were inspired by a new friend and reader, Sister (As To Yet Be Named But She Is Funny As HELL). Don't be a stranger, lady!

Have you seen Queen Latifah's last Jenny Craig commercial? Instead of telling her new dress size, she declares that with her recent weight-loss on the famous diet, she is "Size Healthier". After two years of hard work, I am revealing myself to be "Size Bully". I just look like I can beat people up (despite being as soft and delicate as a flower in the valley...a lady flower that is purple and fragrant....)Whilst I'm not the biggest girl on the block, I am whole lot of woman. Tall woman. 5'9 in stocking feet (the average height of an American male, btw) and about 6'2 in my highest heels. A fellow Glamazon and I lamented the occasional tragedy of tallness this weekend, as we walked around a bar where we could, in her words "eat off people's heads!"

On my way home from the club last week.

I love my height, don't get me wrong! In fact, I often wish I were a little taller; I always thought I was gonna hit 5'11 but my dad's contribution of height (6'3) was buoyed by my wee little mother (5'4, which is awkward when she's trying to fuss at me). Being tall is good, it's awesome. I have long legs and I am grateful for them because I can take long strides and look festive in short skirts.

Sadly, it seems like some brothers are a little less than thrilled with the prospect of seeing eye-to-eye with their old lady. As my girl pointed out to me, it seems like a lot of guys near my height and taller seem to a little short gal. In the words of the late, great Bernie Mac: "Motherf*cker, for what?" Far be it from me to tell someone else who they should like (OK, that was a lie, but just play along), but it's frustrating for most taller girls to see that. Undoubtedly, there are big, fine women who will entertain- if not prefer- the company of a shorter man. However, most women tend to want a man who is physically larger than she. That's a function of our patriarchal society, I suppose, and notions about a man being the protector of the woman. And I realize it's rather anti-feminist for me to say this, but when it comes to height/size of a man I'm considering as a beau...(in a baby voice) I'm the girl and I want to feel like the girl.

To get back to my gangsta, womanist lean...I think it's wack when men feel that a woman who is close to their height or simply tall is a threat/ undesirable/ less desirable than a wee woman. That could sound a little contradictory, but I really don't think it is. What does a man of six feet need with a woman of five, when there is a 5'10 chick out there stuck amongst a bunch of dudes who are 5'5? A 5'5 man and a 5'0 woman could be so happy together; she could wear heels as much as she wanted and he could still be 'the tall one'. Look at T.I. and Tiny- minus his unfortunate incarceration, that's one of the happiest, longest lasting couples in Negronia. They are equally yoked in the church of height deficiency.

Match made in Little Heaven!

Sister HotChocolateChiBACKINBK (yes, my girl is BACK!) did an unscientific experiment recently where she and another friend polled guys about their height preference. All the men they asked admitted that if there were two women of similar build and attractiveness level, one tall and the other short...munchkins for the win, even if the tall woman was still shorter than the man in question. In fact, they admitted that even if the taller girl were a bit prettier, the short girl still holds the trump card.

This is the point where I hear my dad's voice saying "Well, instead of worrying about who's the tallest and who's the best looking, what about the person who's gonna treat you the best? The person who cares the most about our people? The person who respects you the most?" All valid, all true, all points worth making me want to hold my head in shame for being so superficial as to write this post. But at the end of the day, we all want to be physically attracted to our mates and few of us are so evolved or noble that they don't deal in looks at all. And of course, there is surely some 5'2 brother out there who could probably completely knock me dead in the right situation. But I'd be lying if I said that's what I wanted or that I feel open to that sort of interrheight relationship. We are not all the same height laying down. The idea of little feet kicking at my shins is not a pleasant one.

Many men, especially our beloved brothers, are constantly grasping at straws in search of masculinity. And while I may be Public Hypocrite Number 1 to some extent in this complaint of mine, I just really want men to know that you don't have to tower over a woman to be The Man in a relationship. Us big, strapping women can be delicate and feminine as the little ones...or not. Everyone is different. But all I ask is that the bredren be open to the idea of a lady who can look them in the eye. If I'll date a man who's my height, then y'all should do the same. Why? Because I said so. Please and thank you.

Why are we talking about the height of boys when the world around us is falling apart? Because I can't really deal with the fact that one of the realest brothers to ever hold a position in a Presidential administration just had to step down in order to protect our Black President from a nation of half-wit, racist, uneducated yokels so he can do the work that would actually BENEFIT said yokels. And if I focus on that fact right now, my head may actually explode. And what man, tall or short, would love me then?

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