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Hat created by the same designers who made the emperor's new clothes.

According to the Facebook, I am the only woman in the entire world who is not dying of excitement because of today's "Sex In The City" film release. Here are five reasons why I am not chomping at the bit over the sexy skeletons who brought us cosmos, Manolos and some White hoes.

5)I Am Afraid

Samantha, 2008

This show represented both my biggest wishes (having a bunch of money to spend on silly looking clothes, drinking, getting great sex from time to time, having great girlfriends and living in New York....almost got the list down) and my BIGGEST FEAR- being over 40 and single and childless. I know these women enjoyed this 'life' they had for themselves, minus the brunette, but I would die if I were 50 years old like them and still chasing ass. I'm not sure how old they were supposed to be, but three of em looked 45 on episode one and that was 10 years ago....if all these women aren't married and mommies by now, then they have FAILED*! I don't think that is what happens in the movie, so I am a'scared.

4) I'm Still Mad At Them


This shit right here? UNFORGIVABLE! How many reminders do I need that an ugly 50-year-old lesbian is more appealing to Black men than a Black woman?

3)I Don't Get Excited About Most Anything Any Damn Way

Gimme this.

It takes a lot to get my panties in a bunch. Holler at me when there is another Digable Planets reunion or when R. Kelly gets sodomized for the first time in jail.

2)I Blame Them For Everybody Calling Purses "Bags"

Bag:


Purse:


Bag:


Purse:


ANY QUESTIONS????

And finally....

1) I Have Only Seen It Like 5, 6 Times Tops


Child abuse.

We didn't have premium channels at the crib until I went of to college (BOGUS, right?), so I didn't really see the show until it had been on for years and most of the episodes I saw were in syndication. All the fashion was dated and the excitement was never there for me. When I finally saw it, I was like "Eh". It's cool, but not exactly earth shattering.

All that said, I'll probably see it....eventually? I'm interested, especially in J.Hud's performance. She needs this role to be a hit as bad as I need one of these right now (not right now, I mean RIGHT NOW).

I'd rather be HAVING sex in the city anyway. I'm just saying.
Sister Toldja

*-JUST KIDDING! I know that having a marriage and a baby do not measure the value of a woman's life. Well, for my personal life, they do. But not every woman's.